It’s been roughly 25 weeks+ since we’ve “spoken” to each other. Not exchanging a word, but interacting.
I know you chose the latter of looking in to the oblivion and making sure that you don’t have any bitter feelings left. Or just choosing to let go of what we had.
Every response of yours have cut short, mostly because you think you’ve justified it already or there is no point in justifying it to me.
I see that you’ve grown from strength to strength while I’m moved from one thing to another. While you put another brick on the wall to go higher, I’ve realized that it is me on the other side of the wall being completely blinded. Well, we all have the urge to get things right. I’m probably the curious cat who tried to over do it and kill the essence.
Yes, I speak my issues out. Yes, I’m vocal about things. Yes, I’m expressive. Yes, we do not approach things the same way. No, we aren’t 2 different people. No, we aren’t bitter about each other. No, we are not going to make it look like we never knew each other.
I’m not sure if you still have that letter I had written in a while back. You said you’d draft a reply but were too caught up with all the negativity we were surrounded by. I had also mentioned that I’d tear it apart if you’d write back. Well, looks like it just went into that draft folder and never got back. Possibly it’s for the good, we need a fresh start to things.
Every time you walk past me, it feels like an awakening. I don’t expect you to look at me, or give me the looks because I know you’d do that if you wanted to.
I’m usually sure about what’s in your head but I’ve lost the touch of things now. Probably because you have none anymore or you’ve developed for someone else. Be open about it now or you’re just ruining it for everyone.
I know everything builds on trust and patience. Whatever we did, we did it for our good but whatever we’re going to do is for our best interest. I know that we’ve to take things slowly and one at a time. Maybe I got possessive and aggressive, and it wasn’t helping either of us. Well, people usually say that the essence of a human is felt when you lose them. I do realize that we need this break only to know if it’s for good. I am heart broken about us, for the fact that I don’t have a friend right now I can blindly trust; to whom I can confess my insecurities, fears and with whom I can enjoy my victories and achievements.
I maybe bitter of the fact that you chose to take these decisions all by yourself without having a word with me, but it’s your life, you choose who’s in it and who’s not. Everything is temporary, even this person writing this mail.
You keep telling me that you don’t talk about us with anyone, and I do. It’s not because I can’t handle it myself but it’s because I’ve liked you so much as a person that it feels empty without you around. It’s just those thoughts of us being there for each other which was making us sail through things. I was drunk on our thoughts. I’m not sure if your friends like me as a person and as how I know you, you shouldn’t be influenced by them. Please don’t consider this to be a battle of egos or submissive attempts, it’s just me being me wanting to know about us.
I don’t even know if I’m supposed to be doing this but I know what’s right for me. Starting today, I want to do everything afresh. I do not want to have bitter memories between us when we’ve had great moments to share. We will definitely go places and never should we think of each other and feel regretful. That’s the last thing I would want anyone to think of me and us.
This is what we are. This is what I want us to be. Let me know of what you’ve to say.
You and I have a pending encounter, an unfinished chat and a bunch of abuses to exchange.